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‘Why didn’t I fight? Why didn’t I run?’: 10 things we learned from Salman Rushdie’s Knife

The new memoir about the author’s near fatal attack reveals premonitions, PTSD nightmares and being protected by a ‘greater force’
  
  

‘It didn’t feel dramatic, or particularly awful’ … Salman Rushdie.
‘It didn’t feel dramatic, or particularly awful’ … Salman Rushdie. Photograph: Kirill Kudryavtsev/AFP/Getty Images

‘At a quarter to eleven on August 12, 2022, on a sunny Friday morning in upstate New York, I was attacked and almost killed by a young man with a knife,” begins Salman Rushdie’s new memoir.

The book, titled Knife, reflects on the attack at the Chautauqua Institution, where the writer was stabbed on stage shortly before giving a talk. It is the first book the Indian-born British-American author has written since the attack, which left him unable to see from his right eye.

Here are 10 things we’ve learned about the attack and Rushdie’s recovery from Knife.

1. He thought he would die

As Rushdie was being introduced on stage at Chautauqua, he saw a “squat missile” running towards him. His first thought was: “So it’s you. Here you are.” Soon followed another thought: “Why now? Really? It’s been so long.” The alleged attacker, Hadi Matar, then stabbed him around 10 times. “Why didn’t I fight? Why didn’t I run? I just stood there like a piñata and let him smash me,” writes Rushdie.

He remembers lying in a pool of blood and thinking that he was dying. “It didn’t feel dramatic, or particularly awful. It just felt probable … matter-of-fact”. There was “nothing supernatural” about the experience; it was “intensely physical”. He felt a “profound loneliness” at the idea that he would die far from loved ones, surrounded by strangers.

2. His wife was told he wasn’t going to make it

Rushdie’s wife, the poet and novelist Rachel Eliza Griffiths, was told of the attack over the phone by the writer Safiya Sinclair. Griffiths, as well as Rushdie’s sons in London, had very little reliable information: rumours swirled that Rushdie was dead, had been punched but not killed, had got to his feet and left the stage and was OK. Somebody called Eliza Griffiths – she can’t remember who – to tell her Rushdie wasn’t going to make it. She spoke to Rushdie’s literary agents, Andrew Wylie and Jin Auh, who found a plane to take her to Rushdie. “It would cost over $20,000. Never mind,” writes Rushdie.

3. He was buoyed by worldwide support in hospital

When Rushdie regained consciousness, he saw visions of majestic palaces built out of alphabets. He opened his left eye, and realised he was on a ventilator, which “was like having an armadillo’s tail pushed down your throat”.

While in hospital, he became aware of a “worldwide avalanche of horror, support and admiration”. Joe Biden, Emmanuel Macron, and Boris Johnson – the last of whom had once written an article saying that Rushdie didn’t deserve his knighthood – all spoke out. “India, the country of my birth and my deepest inspiration, on that day found no words,” he writes.

4. He had dreamed about being attacked days before

Two days before Rushdie flew to Chautauqua, he had a dream about being attacked by a gladiator wielding a spear in a Roman amphitheatre. Though Rushdie doesn’t believe in premonitions, the dream felt like one – particularly as the Chautauqua venue was also an amphitheatre. “I don’t want to go,” he told his wife. Yet he felt ticket-holders were depending on him. He was also due to be paid “generously”, which would help pay for a new air-conditioning system for his home.

5. He wasn’t sure he wanted to write about the stabbing

Following the attack, Wylie was Rushdie’s first visitor other than family. Rushdie told him that he didn’t know if he could write again. Wylie said that he shouldn’t think about doing anything for a year, except getting better: “But eventually you’ll write about this, of course,” he added. Rushdie said that he wasn’t sure he wanted to. “You’ll write about it,” said Wylie.

6. He sees his novels as ‘foreshadowing’ the attack

The novel that would become Shalimar the Clown, published in 2005, was inspired by an image that Rushdie couldn’t get out of his mind: a dead man on the ground with his killer stood over him holding a knife. He now sees this as a “foreshadowing”. The opening lines of The Satanic Verses – the book that led to him being issued a fatwa in 1989 by Iran’s then-leader, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini – also “returned to haunt” him: “‘To be born again,’ sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, ‘first you have to die’.”

7. He has suffered PTSD in the form of nightmares

Since the attack, Rushdie has suffered with vivid nightmares. He dreamed of the blinding of the Earl of Gloucester by the Duke of Cornwall in King Lear; he dreamed of a scene that resembled Théodore Géricault’s painting The Raft of the Medusa, but the people on the raft were surrealists – Salvador Dalí, Luis Buñuel, René Magritte – and were fighting, trying to gouge out one another’s eyes.

8. He had a prostate cancer scare shortly after the attack

During an outpatient appointment, a doctor suggested a prostate exam, as Rushdie hadn’t had one for a while. The urologist discovered a “small bump” on the prostate, and ordered an MRI scan. “I was at a loss for words. Really? After I narrowly survived a murder attempt, now I had to face the prospect of cancer?” writes Rushdie. After two MRI scans, it was determined that Rushdie did not have cancer – the bump had been caused by a UTI.

9. He revisited the Chautauqua Institution

Just over a year after the attack, Rushdie revisited the Chautauqua Institution stage with Eliza Griffiths. “As we stood there in the stillness I realised that a burden had lifted from me somehow, and the best word I could find for what I was feeling was lightness,” writes Rushdie.

He also visited the jail where Matar is held in custody. Standing in front of it, picturing Matar in his prison uniform, he felt “foolishly happy” and wanted, “absurdly”, to dance. He had also felt the urge to meet Matar, a plan to which Eliza was “strongly opposed”.

10. He doesn’t believe in miracles, but saw his survival as miraculous

Soon after the attack, Eliza Griffiths told Rushdie that many people were saying “some greater force” protected him. “The reality of my books – oh, call it magical realism if you must – is now the actual reality in which I’m living,” Rushdie reflected. “Maybe my books had been building that bridge for decades, and now the miraculous could cross it. The magic had become realism. Maybe my books saved my life.” But he quickly adds: “I sounded delirious even to myself.”

• Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder by Salman Rushdie is published by Jonathan Cape. To support the Guardian and Observer order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

 

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