• Stumbling downstairs after the party for M, Peter Robb's new biography of Caravaggio - held in a hot and steamy upper room in Soho's Groucho Club - the Loafer ran into an old friend, Jay Parini. Biographer of Robert Frost and Gore Vidal's literary executor, he was full of gloom about the respective lack of animation and stupidity of the US presidential candidates - the wooden Al Gore and the thick-as-a-plank George W Bush. The latter, recently asked by a journalist which philosopher had influenced him most, replied "Jesus". What was it about Our Lord that enlightened him? "His books," drawled Bush.
• The delightful Brian Sewell was one art critic not present at Robb's party. Some of the guests, who had reviewed the book more favourably than Sewell's relentless attack in the Evening Standard, were quick to defend Robb's colourful interpretation of Caravaggio's life and work, hinting that his detractors were simply jealous that they had not written such a news-grabbing title themselves. Meanwhile, Robb himself was doubtful that "M" would have had much time for such a louche literary gathering. "He probably wouldn't have approved at all," he mused. "He'd more than likely be standing at the back in black, roughing up a waiter, or slipping out to look at one of the video parlours around the corner."
• Bloomsbury, who publish M, were putting up a united front in the face of rumours that one of their authors had gone missing. Not just any author, but J K Rowling, currently hard at work on Harry Potter number 4. "No, no truth in it at all," beamed one employee, looking as if it wasn't the first time she'd been asked. "She'll be there at the Nibbies [the book industry's grim Oscar-style awards ceremony] on Thursday, with bells on." The Loafer will report all Nibbies gossip next week.
• Next week also sees the release of the shortlist for the Romantic Novel of Year Award. Celebrating its 40th birthday (the last three of which have been sponsored by Parker, the pen people), it must be one of the longest-standing literary prizes. Who will win £5,000 and a set of pens worth over £300? Novelist Mike Gayle (brother of brightly shirted Channel 4 newscaster Phil) will speak at the Savoy when the final award is made in April. I wonder if he, as most romantic novelists apparently do, still writes with a pen.
