I am thrilled that in the new year honours list I am being made an MBE. I know some people disapprove of the honours system and others will be outraged that I am accepting an award in the name of the British empire. But I welcome the opportunities I’m hoping the award will bring.
I am being honoured as a writer and broadcaster for services to LGBTQ+ culture, but when I was growing up in the 1980s there was hardly any queer culture, and what we had was pretty much underground and undiscussed. When gay men did feature in the media we were demonised as dangerous, Aids-carrying sexual predators who couldn’t be trusted around children. At school I suffered terrible homophobic bullying, and when the Tory government introduced section 28, any teachers who may have wanted to defend me weren’t legally allowed. So when a letter arrived from the Cabinet Office, telling me I was being recommended by the prime minister to the king for an MBE, I was so proud I burst into tears.
It comes after decades of hard work and fighting. Yes, I have had positive reactions to the journalism I’ve written about gay issues such as the HIV prevention drug PrEP, or my undercover mission to report on homophobia in Russia. But when I first appeared as the culture editor of Channel 4 News in 2010, some of the responses I experienced were savage. X users commented that I was “ridiculously camp” or “double gay, even … he kills my ears”, and in the Sunday Times, the critic AA Gill compared me to another famously effeminate man, declaring I was “to arts reporting what Wayne Sleep was to darts”.
When I started writing novels, it took me more than 10 years to get published. A few editors singled out the gay content of my first novel as problematic, one of them finding it “a bit too explicit for comfort”. Another had a problem with the story being told from a gay character’s point of view as this “pushes the novel into that niche market for me”. Another editor commented that “this type of book really needs to fall into the literary fiction arena, think of Edmund White, of Alan Hollighurst [sic]” – the implication being that straight readers who were intelligent and educated could empathise with gay characters, but the readers of more accessible fiction couldn’t. I eventually had to turn to crowdfunding publisher Unbound to raise the core costs of releasing The Madonna of Bolton. We broke the record for crowdfunding a novel in just seven days.
Since then I have had several books published but still had to battle homophobia. Even my biggest selling novel, The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle, was turned down by several publishers, one of whom suggested I only reveal my central character’s sexuality “towards the end” – quite something considering the story is about a closeted gay man searching for the long lost love of his life. The same editor also commented that she didn’t want me to be “so explicit on the wider LGTB [sic] issues”.
Online I have recently received comments calling me a “certified freak”, an “abomination to the Lord your God” and a “child groomer”. But homophobia isn’t always so explicit. Within the publishing industry, I still have to battle the idea that gay themes need sanitising for straight female readers, that they want a “wholesome”, neutered version of the queer experience. But I believe they want the authentic experience, however edgy this may be. I see my straight female readers as the girls who stuck up for me in the school playground, the strong women who feel a kinship with gay men because they too have been disrespected for their sexuality.
That is why I think this honour sends out a powerful message and it is important I accept it. I’m hoping it may mean my work and that of other gay authors gets more recognition at major literary festivals, or that I’ll see more such books stocked in decent quantities by the upmarket retailers. I’m also hoping it means younger queer writers won’t have such a hard time breaking through. An MBE carries serious heft, heft that can only be useful for gay writers like myself, disrespected as camp and lightweight.
But none of this will happen if the honours system continues to be brought into question by politicians such as Boris Johnson, who has been criticised for handing out awards to aides and siblings. This makes me angry as it undermines the honours’ power, the increased platform they can give to people like me to continue pushing for change.
And yes, I’m aware that the British empire exported many of the homophobic laws that still exist in a majority of Commonwealth countries. But I believe accepting honours opens up an opportunity – and responsibility – to educate more people about the mistakes and outrages of the past. And it is a platform to call for the UK government to do more to combat homophobic legislation by working with local activist groups on the ground, and offering them funding and expertise so they can campaign for legislative change.
But all that is in the future. For now, I have dried my tears and am feeling happy, validated and appreciated. And tonight I will be celebrating with the campest drink I can find.
Matt Cain is the author of novel One Love, published by Headline. He was formerly editor-in-chief of Attitude and culture editor of Channel 4 News
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