Despite being best known as a self-proclaimed “incredibly rightwing” comedian, Birmingham’s Joe Lycett is also a prolific artist. Although some of his painting is already well regarded – Guardian critic Jonathan Jones singled out his portrait of Gary Lineker for praise during last year’s Royal Academy Summer Exhibition – the new book Joe Lycett’s Art Hole marks the first time that his work will be unleashed en masse on the public.

“I did a book years ago called Parsnips, Buttered, which had illustrations in it,” says Lycett from Alabama, where he is concluding a tour of all the American Birminghams. “I really enjoyed doing it, but the one thing that I was frustrated about was the quality of the finished thing. The publishers printed it on very standard paper. It made me realise that I really wanted to make a lovely object.”

Art Hole is definitely that. Filled with celebrity portraits (Harry Styles, Chris Whitty) and wider Shrigleyesque slogan-based work (This Year Will Also Be Shit), it’s a gorgeous slab of a book, printed on luxurious paper stock. What’s more, there’s a solid intellectual reason for its existence.

“One thing I’m very passionate about is that I want people to make things, because I know how good it’s been for me,” he says. “I get sad when people say: ‘Oh, I can’t draw,’ because you can. People are creative and they don’t realise it. They think art is this abstract thing for people that can go to galleries and buy sculptures for the foyer of an HSBC headquarters. But it’s not. It’s for everyone. Art serves a vital role in our lives.”

The real beauty of Art Hole, however, is that it is full of what can affectionately be described as absolute cobblers. “Monographs are horrible things a lot of the time,” Lycett sighs. “Art books are beautiful, but the words in them are horrible.” As such, he has remedied this by basically making stuff up, offering the reader long shaggy dog stories about his supposed inspiration and practices. His stream of nonsense about Robert Peston is a particular highlight.

“As a maker, I mostly make silly things,” Lycett says. “I try to make people laugh, so if it’s too earnest a painting, it’s a failure. I sometimes slip into earnest anyway. And as I do, there’s an alarm that goes off in my head and makes me tell a joke, because that’s my instinct. But I definitely have an earnest artist in me, and I like the idea of getting a pseudonym and doing things secretly, but I haven’t worked out how to do it yet.” He pauses. “Or maybe I have.” (He hasn’t).

Would he have the discipline to keep it to himself, though, or would he do what JK Rowling did with her Robert Galbraith books and just blab his real identity to everyone anyway? “Oh, I’ll do a JK Rowling,” he laughs. “I’ll do a JK Rowling in every way.”

Five highlights of Joe Lycett’s Art Hole

Harry Styles
Lycett says: “I was approached by Harry’s people to do a portrait of him because, off the record, they were furious with David Hockney for how terrible his portrait was. I gave Harry a very good price, but the bastard still hasn’t paid up. We’ve taken legal action. The case is still open, and I look forward to being compensated for the work that I did.”

A Crisp Glass of Piss
“A painting inspired by my friendship and work with the actress Keira Knightley, who I definitely have an allotment with in Tipton. She covered it in pesticides. She just loves the pesticides. She loves all sorts of chemicals, really. She’s actually on the board of directors of Zoflora, but people don’t know that about her. But yeah, she’s using a lot of pesticides, and ended up with a crop of grapes that were not very nice. When she tried to make a wine, it tasted like piss.”

Priti Little Thing
“I’m in a small group of pro fly-tippers. We’ve been doing it for years and getting away with it. Priti Patel is one of the greats, if not the greatest, fly-tipper that I’ve ever encountered. I’m retired now, because I got close to getting prosecuted, but I bumped into her a few times when she was fly-tipping, normally around the back of National Trust properties.”

A Cat Having a Little Think While Resting on a Skylight on a Hot Summer’s Day
“At a Radio 2 party, Craig Charles had a few drinks and said: ‘Do you like cats?’ And I was like: ‘Yeah, I like cats.’ And he’s like: ‘Do you want a cat?’ And I was like: ‘Yeah, I want a cat.’ He actually had a cat with him. Everyone laughed, and then I was stuck with this cat. I think Vanessa Feltz once ended up with a lizard that Craig Charles gave her at a party.”

This Year Will Also Be Shit
“Jessie J was at a New Year’s Eve party in 2019. She was very drunk and quite aggressive. Basically, she’d ripped this LCD TV off the wall of a kebab shop, and then came to the party to show off what she’d done. She’d overdone it, and she was annoyed that we were all having a nice time, so she shouted: ‘This year will also be shit.’ And we were like, whatever. But she was right: 2020 was shit.”

•Joe Lycett’s Art Hole will be published by Trapeze (£35) on 26 September. To support the Guardian and the Observer buy a copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.