In 1936, an American divorcee called Wallis Simpson almost brought down the British monarchy. Just over 80 years later, another American divorcee, Meghan Markle, is set to give the British monarchy a new lease of life. Yet Wallis and Meghan have even more in common than just being American and divorcees: they have both had biographies about them by me published this year. Some things are truly written in the stars.
Meghan’s has been a remarkable journey. Much has been written about the fact that her mother, Doria, was an African-American woman with liquid brown eyes of slave descent, but what is less well known is that her father’s family can trace their ancestry back to Robert the Bruce. So you could say that Meghan was born into royalty, if you didn’t have much material and were desperate to pad out your book to 80,000 words.
Although her parents split up when she was five, Meghan has always felt she came from a very loving and stable background. As she once told a Hollywood gossip column reporter when she was desperate to go into acting: “I come from a very loving and stable background. Do you know anyone who could give me a job?”
From a very early age, it was obvious to all those around her that Meghan was possessed of a unique talent. At her private school in Los Angeles, she was even cast as the star in a production of The Princess Bride ahead of Scarlett Johansson, who had only just been born. One of the most formative moments of her early life was watching the funeral of Princess Diana on television. Little did she know that less than 20 years later, she would be marrying the young prince who was walking behind his mother’s coffin carrying a copy of Andrew Morton’s fabulous book, Diana: Her True Story In Her Own Words.
Have I mentioned that Meghan is biracial? Being biracial has always been an integral part of Meghan’s identity. Largely because her mother was black and her father was white. Just thought I’d mention it. After leaving university, where she narrowly missed out on winning a Nobel prize, Meghan set her heart on becoming an actress and it wasn’t long before the parts came rolling in. Her first role was in a straight-to-DVD film whose name I can’t remember in which she had to say the word: “Hi.” As the producer later told me after hearing Meghan was getting married to Prince Harry: “She was the only actress we auditioned who could say ‘Hi’ as if she meant it.”
Her big break came when she was asked to be a regular on Deal or No Deal, a gameshow in which she had to walk on set wearing next to nothing holding up box number 26. As the girl who carried box number 17 told me: “We could tell Meghan was a natural and was going to marry into royalty.” Filming for Deal or No Deal was a demanding process, yet Meghan still managed to fit in a pilates class and get in some charity work in preparation for meeting Prince Harry.
At some point or other, Meghan married a film producer called Trevor, but once she had landed a leading part in a TV series called Suits, she decided to let him go by text, as she didn’t want to put him through the glare of publicity. “Meghan has always been really thoughtful like that,” one of her close friends told me.
Have I mentioned that Meghan is biracial? Now that Meghan was a Hollywood star whom almost no one outside Hollywood had heard of, she devoted her life to helping others. Along with posting selfies on Instagram and setting up a website to promote organic kale and other lifestyle necessities for biracial women.
After dumping various other men who couldn’t help with her career, Meghan had almost resigned herself to being single. But then Cupid’s arrow went a-quiver under the incandescent African skies. (God, who writes this rubbish?) So Meghan and Prince Harry met on a blind date and it was love at first sight. “Hi, I’m Prince Harry,” said Prince Harry. “You had me at Prince,” Meghan gushed.
Things moved swiftly after that, and it wasn’t long before Meghan was invited to have tea with the Queen. Using all the skills she had learned as an actress, Meghan spent days rehearsing sipping tea from a cup and eating cucumber sandwiches. The big day went off splendidly and the biggest hurdle of her life had been cleared comfortably. On the way home, Harry asked Meghan to marry him. “I know it won’t be easy and you will have to give up your charity work, but I’d like you to be my wife,” he said.
“Oh don’t worry,” she replied. “I’ve always wanted to be a princess. And you’re so hopeless, you can be my very own charity project.”
Meghan immediately settled into her new role and every member of the royal family remarked on how brilliantly she shook hands with strangers. “She’s going to be a real asset,” said a minor royal who was still hoping for an invitation to the wedding.
Life under the royal glare is never easy, though, and there are some who worry that Meghan may quickly get bored. But hey! If she does, she knows where to come to tell her story.
Digested read digested: When Harry met Meghan.
