Romance is not dead but the age of chivalry is on its way out, according to a survey which reveals more than half of British adults are confused by what is considered romantic in the 21st century.
The nation still favours traditional acts of romance. But while most men rate material acts of giving gifts or flowers as expressions of true love, women prefer gestures, such as cuddling or romantic walks, research from the romantic fiction publishers Mills & Boon, shows.
Holding hands (46%), cuddling (44%), giving a surprise gift (43%), a romantic walk (32%) and giving flowers (31%) were the five most romantic acts, while breakfast in bed (25%), running a partner a bath after a long day (18%), giving a foot massage (7%) and sharing an umbrella (7%) were also considered among the top 20 most romantic gestures.
The biggest passion-killer was mobile phone addiction, especially at the dinner table (49%), which beat bad personal hygiene (45%) and being rude (33%) as the biggest turn-off.
The age of chivalry is expiring, according to Mills & Boon, whose demure heroines and alpha-male heroes have provided romantic escapism since the brand launched in 1908.
Almost all (93%) of over-45s believed there was still a place for historically chivalrous acts in the 21st century, while 37% of 18-24-year-olds did not think so. Ordering for someone at a restaurant was particularly frowned on, while taking off a hat when entering a room, and standing at a table when your partner arrives and leaves were considered outdated.
The biggest relationship dilemma in the modern age was when to introduce a partner to family (51%), closely followed by when to say I love you and who says it first (50%).
The survey was commissioned to mark the launch of The Mills & Boon Rules of Romance, a free ebook written by the publisher’s bestselling authors.
It found while 76% of the nation would like more romance in their lives, more than half (57%) admit they do not make romantic gestures because they fear being seen as “cheesy”. Londoners were the most romance-deprived, with 86% wanting more in their lives.
Those in Northern Ireland most avoided making romantic gestures for fear of being “cheesy” or awkward, Scots were most likely to see changing to a couples profile picture on social media as “cheesy”, while the Welsh were most in need of a cuddle.
Lisa Milton, Mills & Boon’s executive publisher, said: “With so many people either worried or confused about romance in the modern era, it is clear they need a little gentle help with affairs of the heart.”
