I’m not saying I don’t want to see Adele, but if she clashes with Jeremy Corbyn, forget it. Yes, I know what he’ll say, give or take, but we know what she’s going to sing, don’t we, plus thank God for a Corbyn reality check, with all those billionaires.

The social justice line-up sounds incredible this year – pure luck our tipi is about five minutes from Left Field. Sorry, ours is full, but you might still get one – around £2,000, but for that you get showers and decent toilets, plus proper security, worth every penny. And there’s always this great atmosphere around the fire, loads of debate – last year, we were up all night discussing the impact of neo-liberalism on entrenched inequalities with this amazing guerrilla gardener from Pricewaterhouse. It got quite heated, actually, after someone found out he sends his kids to private school. I was like, I’m saying nothing.

Apparently John McDonnell’s still a possible, which would be fantastic with the whole austerity theme, then I’m booked for Owen Jones at Latitude – he can sign my copy of Chavs, plus they’ve done this brilliant pre-festival reading list, so you arrive debate-ready. That’s if there’s time before Hay: I’m not paying to see AC Grayling on Descartes unless I’m totally up to speed with the whole mind-body dualism thing. Can you believe Yanis Varoufakis is already sold out? But we’re in for the Gordon Brown Q&A. Sod’s law it’ll be back to back with Slavoj Žižek debating debt at How The Light Gets In – £12, which isn’t bad when you think he cost £20 at Sidmouth, though that included a buffet lunch and radical socialism.

Then we’re doing Wilderness for the philosophy. There’s a whole session asking if we’re actually fictional characters, and the food, Raymond Blanc’s 25-course tasting banquet – that’s if it doesn’t clash with Charlotte Church. We’ve got a Royal Safari Tent in the boutique field, I know it’s extravagant, but trust me, when you’re trying to think, you need some decent lighting. I’m just praying they’ll keep the music down.