Marta Bausells 

Most disturbing children’s poetry: your examples

A selection of children’s poems has gone gone viral on Twitter after they were published in The Los Angeles Times. Is your child the next Sylvia Plath – or more of a McGonagall? Our readers have been sharing their verses with us – here are some of the best
  
  

disturbing kids' poetry Twitter
‘Gabi really took it up a notch’ ... Screengrab of the Los Angeles Times page featuring the poems. Photograph: Shelby Fero/Twitter

Goodbye to innocence? Comedian Shelby Fero, known for her quick and brilliant wit on Twitter, shared the following pieces of children’s poetry published in the section Creativity Corner of the Los Angeles Times this weekend. The poems read:

Seashells are shining. Seashells are like ocean waves. Seashells beam at night” —Christopher, aged 9

Parakeets are loud. On Friday, I take them out. They are so pretty.” — Skylar, aged 8

How sinister the parakeet poem is depends on what you understand by the term “take them out”: could Skylar, aged 8, be using it its Breaking Bad sense?

Fanciful perhaps, but then there was this more disturbing vision:

The fire is red as blood. I watch the flames go up in the air as I taste the sadness of the people whose houses have burnt to the ground. I turn back, but all I hear is the bursting and explosion of flames.” — Gabi, aged 9

Little Gabi might be the new Sylvia Plath, ventured some. Anchorman jokes ensued:

The tweet has now gone viral, and others have replied by sharing their own examples of troubling verse from children – here is a poem by another Twitter user’s 8-year-old:

This prompted my Guardian colleague Fran Singh to share this poem her dad wrote, aged 12, about a dead cat – judge for yourselves:

Our readers got involved as well. Here’s Stephanie Mark’s poem from back when she was also 12:

Thomas Ling’s verses about fart pollution were quite profound:

Mark Patterson shared the below poem his 7-year-old wrote for her sister’s birthday – here’s the transcript:

No-one knows where he lurks

But he’s only after the birthday girl

He’ll suck blood, it’s the vampire king

He dangles off the darkest trees

You see him fall if he has a feast ...

He’ll be human once and for all

And he’ll take over the world

Amy Lucksted’s One Direction-hating 7-year-old wrote this brilliant piece of poetry:

This comment has been chosen by Guardian staff because it contributes to the debate

This from my then 7 year old daughter, she was asked to write a gory poem. It may help to know that she hates One Direction.
Ingredients
Guts of a human found in a cave
Heart of a slug found in a drain
A live slug found in a garden
Hand of a human found in a grave
Six legs of centipedes
Throat of a human
Brain of a rat
Fur from a wolf
Half a spider
Head of Niall Horan
Guts of Niall
Method
Twist the rat brain and boil it. Cut the slug in half. Rip Niall's guts in two and put them in Niall's neck. Add a pinch of cinnamon.

Carnegie1 finds his 10-year-old’s poem “bloody depressing”, with others finding it worthy of a Leonard Cohen song:

This is by my 10 year old daughter:

"If only, if only
Things could always go our way
It could be even and fair
Instead of the fools making us pay
And what friendship is ours

If only, if only
We could just be
Together forever
In perfect harmony

If only, if only
You and I will never be lonely
Hopefully we'll stumble in to each other's arms
If only, if only"

Bloody depressing, isn't it?

LABette was “a cheery kid”:

When I was 11 I had a guitar playing best friend and I wrote her some words to fit her music.

Verse:
A little old lady is sitting there alone,
She needs someone to talk to so she reaches for the phone,
Her hand can move no further, she feels a pain inside.
And a few minutes later the old woman died.

Chorus:
Another time, another place.
Another tear on another face,
But nobody cares.
Another hope, another dream.
But there's no-one to hear you scream,
'Cos nobody cares.

There were two more verses like that. A kid got blinded at a football match, and a shop got burgled causing a heart attack, if I remember rightly. I was a cheery kid.

Poems about mums, what a gold mine:

At the grand old age of 7 I wrote a poem about my Mum, it went:
'My Mum has long black hair and when I am bad she goes spare'. I was so disappointed when it wasn't put on the wall with the other children's sweet little poems about their Mums (I think they were for Mother's Day). For the record my poor Mum was (and is) a very mild-mannered soul who rarely 'went spare' 

sfj1812’s son’s nightmarish poem:

Black dog stares with eyes so red
Salivating mouth the jaws of dread
Running through quicksand
Not going to make it
The devils on my back
I wake up screaming

My son aged 12 at the time.

Do you have any examples of your own, or your children’s, disturbing, unintentionally creepy or otherwise funny poems? Always from a position of respect, we would love to see them – share them in the comment thread below or on Twitter, by mentioning @GuardianBooks. We’ll include a selection in this piece.

 

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