Right, the book! Anyone want a top-up before we start? Thanks, Aldi’s Gavi, would you believe? That’s so true, we’re saving about £30 a week. Now where did I put my copy? Honestly, I’m getting everything for Christmas there, literally the only thing we need from Waitrose is one of those Heston puddings, maybe some crackers, unless we don’t do them this year. Where are you all getting yours? I am SO fed up with the whole keyring/egg-cup/mini-screwdriver thing, I mean, show some imagination.

Anyway, the book. Did anyone else not finish it? Seriously, you make your own crackers, God, how? No way could I do that, but do you think teenagers even notice crackers, where will you be for Christmas? Sorry, the book! When I can find my copy, look, it doesn’t matter, I have to say I wasn’t much of a fan anyway. Whose turn is it to start, crisps?

No, no, no, sorry to interrupt, but really – you loved it? I hated it. Really, really, really hated it. I’m honestly quite surprised anyone could like it, though after Gone Girl I suppose anything was going to feel a bit meh. No, of course I’m not blaming you for suggesting it. Although when I got to the middle, I did wonder if you were paying me back for The Luminaries. Well, that’s how it felt. But I’m sure we all feel very improved, it’s just a shame the main character has to be like Emma, what a total bitch, poor Harriet, imagine having a best friend like that, do you think Jane Austen wanted us to like her? And forget about a plot. Well, there could definitely have been less irony and more suspense for me, God, is anyone watching The Fall, how amazing is Jamie Dornan? Great, the tagine’s ready, perfect timing, we just need to choose the next one – and please nobody say The Goldfinch again, not with Christmas. Just a thought, but with Emma being such a downer – you know they do adult editions of The Hunger Games? Vote? Great. Next question: how much do we think Gwynnie hates Jennifer?