If you think you'll be groaning every time an England shot goes wide at the World Cup, then check out this silly collection of sometimes funny, sometimes punny, gags about football.
Clive Gifford has written over 25 books on the beautiful game, including the Football Joke Book. He is a QPR fan (well, someone has to be!) and has been nominated for the Royal Society Young People's Book Prize 2014 for his book, Eye Benders.
England manager Roy Hodgson has set up a friendly match for the England team against Iceland to try and cheer fans up.
If they win that game, they'll play Tesco's next Saturday and then Asda on Wednesday! What do you call a girl who stands inside goalposts and stops the ball rolling away?
Annette What did the referee say to the South American footballer in the World Cup who lied about handling the ball?
I don't Bolivia! My computer's got the Bad-Goalie Virus.
It can't save anything. Referee: "I'm sending you off."
Player: "What for?"
Referee: "For the rest of the match, dummy!"

What ship holds 20 football teams but only three leave it each season?
The Premier-ship

Goalkeeper: I've been asked to sign for a new team, Circus Clown FC.
Defender: As an amateur?
Goalkeeper: No, it's a fool time job!

Which football side did Shy Barry and Very Quiet Vernon play for?
The reserve-d team.

What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves?
The sideline

The new manager of our struggling football team is strict and won't stand any nonsense.
Last Saturday, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall and was angry with them. He grabbed them and said: "Get back in there and watch the game until it finishes!"

What happened when the pitch was flooded during a World Cup match?
The teams brought on their subs!

Why did Roy Hodgson bring pencils and sketchbooks into the dressing room before the World Cup game?
He was hoping his England team would draw the match!