I was born the youngest of seven, in a council estate in Woolwich. I remember dropping my rag doll off the balcony so I'd be allowed to go downstairs and get it. It was an adventure.

My family doesn't do despair. My mum got bombed out of three houses in the war, my dad spent four-and-a-half years in a German POW camp, my sister died when I was 18, another sister's son died when he was 21. We keep going.

My father-in-law took almost 10 years to meet me. He was horrified that his daughter was with a woman, and a Catholic woman, but since 2000 we've been good, honest friends.

When you're ebullient it's hard to be quiet. I was a depressed teenager, trying to be what girls were meant to be in the 70s. More girly, less smart, less loud.

The more honest we are, the faster the world changes. We kid ourselves that some lies are better: "Oh, I can't come out – it would upset my great aunt." For all you know she was gay at your age.

I'm loud and big and open, but have a much quieter side. I've found a form of Buddhism that allows you to eat meat and drink, which is handy.

I used to think that if you have to work at a relationship, it's not real. I was really wrong. If you have to work, it means you care.

Talent is a myth. You don't have to be an artist to create. Artists aren't special.

People say I should rest. I've written 14 novels, am working on a play, a short story, an article. I like to be busy. I've had a second breast cancer this year, so more than anyone else, I know how short life is. Why would I rest?

I'm English, not British. You can't say Britain without meaning the thing that colonised Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland.

The "all-clear" never feels like all clear. I've had two breast cancers, and two skin cancers. I may not get away with it again. Which would be a shame, because there's so much I have to do.

To be with the dying is a gift. And it feels strangely similar to being with a newborn. My father-in-law is very ill, and it's taken away the place where he was interested about his own death. Now that he's in pain, he only wants to die.

Nigel Farage is probably fun to have a drink with, which is a problem. Some people might think: "Working class, lesbian, left wing – ugh!", but they'd find I'm fun to have a drink with. Without space for dialogue, there's no reconciliation.

I find meaning in the sea. Being bashed about by a really rough sea on a sunny day – what else is there? Wildness, passion – all the things we try and get in our work and art, it's there.

I'm looking forward to being a crone. A crone who people bring cakes and wine to when they want my wisdom because I've lived so long.

I'm not prone to depression. I'm prone to positivity.

Stella Duffy's latest novel is The Purple Shroud (Virago, £7.99), she is also a contributor to the Oxfam fundraiser OxCrimes (Profile Books, £9.99). To order either at a discount price, with free UK p&p, go to theguardian.com/bookshop or call 0330 333 6846. For information on Fun Palaces, go to funpalaces.co.uk