1. Who was the first world leader telephoned by Barack Obama after he was inaugurated as president?

   1. Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Prime Minister

   2. President Abbas of Palestine

   3. King Abdullah of Jordan

2. Peter Mandelson had custard thrown at him by anti-plane protesters in March, and must still be kicking himself that he missed the chance to laugh off the incident instantly as "a trifle". What colour was the custard?

   1. Green

   2. Yellow

   3. Pink

3. "Malaria is spread by mosquitoes. I brought some. Here, I'll let them roam around. There is no reason why only poor people should be infected." Which philanthropist thus unleashed panic at a conference in California?

   1. Warren Buffett

   2. Oprah Winfrey

   3. Bill Gates

4. How many deputy mayors has Boris now lost?

   1. Two

   2. Three

   3. Four

5. Peter Mandelson returned to the fray, and is now Lord High Vizier of Everything and, for all we know by the time of printing, Santa. But which "big beast" returned, too, for the Conservatives?

   1. Ken Clarke

   2. Norman Tebbit

   3. Michael Portillo

6. "I take full responsibility for what happened. That's why the person who was responsible went immediately." Gordon Brown, of course, talking about whom?

   1. Hazel Blears

   2. Damian McBride

   3. Michael Martin

7. Why is the Pope celebrating Christmas two hours early this year?

   1. Because of a recent adjustment to the Julian calendar

   2. In order that he can have an early night and not be "tired out"

   3. So that Christians in Asia can enjoy live broadcasts of the Christmas mass from St Peter's square

8. "The famous man looked at the red cup." Which comedian, mocking the prose style of which author, who had another worldwide bestseller this year, and who gets his "inspiration" from hanging upside down in gravity boots?

   1. Stewart Lee on Dan Brown

   2. Ricky Gervais on John Grisham

   3. Jo Brand on Jeffrey Archer

9. Which magazine brought out a black-bordered tribute issue "in loving memory" of Jade Goody – while she was still alive?

   1. Grazia

   2. Hello!

   3. OK!

10. How many copies of the Evening Standard (when it was paid for) could have been bought by Alexander Lebedev for the price he paid for ownership of the title?

    1. Two

    2. Two hundred

    3. Two thousand

11. "Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers, Society of, The?" An aperçu from which well-loved figure who died in 2009?

    1. Keith Waterhouse

    2. Clement Freud

    3. John Mortimer

12. Which period in history, not in and of itself a barrel of laughs, was the subject of the winner of this year's literary Bad Sex Awards?

    1. The Great Depression

    2. The first world war

    3. The Holocaust

13. Who, whose creator died this year, spent his Christmases at Froxbury Mansions, seven of which are remembered in a newly published collection of short stories?

    1. Horace Rumpole

    2. Billy Fisher

    3. Harry "Rabbit" Angstrom

14. "The first time I met the Queen she said the same thing as Tony Blair, whom I'd also just met for the first time." Andrew Motion, whose tenure as poet laureate ended this year. What idenitcal remark was made by both monarch and then prime minister?

    1. "How do you do?"

    2. "And what is it you do?"

    3. "You don't have to do anything"

15. One of the most surprising entries on the Booker longlist was Me Cheeta, by James Lever, a tale of the golden years of Hollywood told through the voice of Tarzan's chimpanzee. But what kind of animal was the first non-human film star to have its "imprint" on the sidewalk at Grauman's Chinese Theatre?

    1. Rinty the German Shepherd, first of many to play Rin Tin Tin

    2. Mickey Mouse

    3. Tom Mix's horse, Tony

16. Can you remember to whom Tom Watson lost the play-off which denied him his sixth British Open, at the age of 59, and denied us the sporting story of the decade?

    1. Stewart Cink

    2. Justin Leonard

    3. Ernie Els

17. Thierry Henry, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer. Two fallen from grace, one going through an unaccountable lean spell – and all victims, apparently, of the "Curse of…" which global consumer brand, which they all advertise?

    1. Nike

    2. Gillette

    3. Coca Cola

18. Why did Merseyside, particularly that part comprising Everton fans, turn virulently for a while against Tic Tacs?

    1. Tic Tac maker, Ferrero were rumoured to be interested in buying naming rights to Goodison Park

    2. An advert for Tic Tacs on ITV ran throughout the only goal in the televised derby

    3. Liverpool supporters threw Tic Tacs at Everton fans after internet rumours regarding the renaming of Goodison Park

19. This year saw the first 100-1 Grand National winner in over 40 years, and only the second to be trained by a woman. The horse's name?

    1. My will

    2. Comply or die

    3. Mon Mome

20. "It's only stalking if the other person doesn't like it." Which sporting star, admitting he stalked his swimsuit-model bride during their courtship?

    1. Andy Roddick

    2. Jenson Button

    3. Andy Murray

21. Who scored the fastest-ever goal in FA Cup Final history this year, just 25 seconds after the whistle?

    1. Didier Drogba

    2. Frank Lampard

    3. Louis Saha

22. Andy Murray's girlfriend left him because of his "addiction" to what – an addiction he shares with David James?

    1. Facebook

    2. Video games

    3. Eastenders

23. Which American sports writer, perhaps best known for writing the Oscar-winning screenplay for On the Waterfront, died in the autumn?

    1. Norman Mailer

    2. Budd Schulberg

    3. Arn Shein

24. Michael Nyman premiered, in Berlin, an opera written about an animal. Who was Sparkie?

    1. A talking budgie from Newcastle

    2. A footballing goat from Bristol

    3. A dancing horse from Dundee

25. Who left this year's Brit Awards empty-handed, despite having being nominated in four categories?

    1. Arctic Monkeys

    2. Elbow

    3. Coldplay

26. "What's up, London?" asked Britney Spears in June, of a somewhat bemused audience. Where, actually, was she?

    1. Manchester

    2. Cardiff

    3. New York

27. What is cello scrotum?

    1. An affliction of classical musicians (it was a hoax)

    2. An affliction of classical musicians (it is real)

28. What links Susan Boyle and The Flintstones? (No, don't be nasty… it's a lapidarian plural noun.)

    1. Wilma - the name of Susan Boyle's mother and Fred's wife

    2. Pebbles – the name of Susan Boyle's cat and the Flintstones' baby

    3. Bedrock - Susan Boyle's birthplace in West Lothian and the Flintstones' hometown in Cobblestone County

29. "My assistant showed me how to set it up, cos I'm not Mr Tech. I lost twice. On Easy." Which computer game was Paul McCartney attempting for the first time?

    1. Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare

    2. The Beatles: Rock Band

    3. World of Warcraft

30. Bob Dylan now holds the record for the longest gap between solo number-one albums in Britain, at nearly 40 years. Whose place has he usurped?

    1. Tom Jones

    2. Elvis Presley

    3. The Beatles

31. "They are pretty much finished, aren't they?" Who, talking about the Stones?

    1. Neil Young

    2. Bob Dylan

    3. Morrissey

32. Which popular carol, written by an American pastor, was introduced to Britain in 1903 by Vaughan Williams and given a new "old English" melody, the Surrey peasant song "Forest Green"?

    1. "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

    2. "Once in Royal David's City"

    3. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

33. Lady Gaga explained this year that one of her hits was all about being in bed with a man but fantasising about being in bed with a woman. What complicated lives these "beat" stars do lead. Which hit?

    1. "Bad Romance"

    2. "LoveGame"

    3. "Poker Face"

34. Which former footballer was nominated for the Palme d'Or at Cannes?

    1. David Beckham

    2. Vinnie Jones

    3. Eric Cantona

35. Who will be the next doctor? As in Who. Doctor Who. Who? Who?

    1. Ben Wishaw

    2. Ma

    3. John Simm

36. Who sang the Uni

    1. Cheryl Cole

    2. Jade Ewen

    3. Andy Abraham

37. Who wrote the United Kingdom's Eurovision entry? Which came fifth. To Norway.

    1. Cathy Dennis

    2. Simon Cowell

    3. Andrew Lloyd-Webber

38. While pirates of a rather more serious nature were filling the news elsewhere, on The Apprentice they appeared only as part of a competition to devise a novelty breakfast cereal. Captain Squawk's Treasure Flakes won hands down – against which more mad, doomed and silly character, now part of the show's rich legend?

    1. Sugarman

    2. Pants Man

    3. Captain Oats

39. How long did the Archers' Matt Crawford get in jail?

    1. Three years

    2. Six months

    3. 18 months

40. In which film did the song "White Christmas" first appear?

    1. Holiday Inn

    2. White Christmas

    3. Sing You Sinners

41. Slumdog Millionaire, when it opened in Mumbai, showed in 100 English-language cinemas and 300 featuring… what language? Well? In what language do they show most films in India?

    1. Marathi

    2. Urdu

    3. Hindi

42. "You're not even the man people love to hate. You're just the man they hate. Not Simon Cowell, but Piers Morgan." Said to whom – arguably the (fictional) TV personality of the year?

    1. Steve Fleming MP (The Thick of It)

    2. Julius, Lord Nicholson of Arnage (The Thick of It)

    3. Malcolm Tucker (The Thick of It)

43. Michael Caine was widely quoted with his wise saw that "Old age isn't too bad when you consider the alternative". We hesitate to accuse such a national treasure of plagiarism, but which actor/director said exactly the same thing two decades ago?

    1. Richard Attenborough

    2. Clint Eastwood

    3. Woody Allen

44. Artist Maurice Agis was fined £10,000 for having breached health and safety protocols when his inflatable sculpture Dreamspace burst free of its moorings and floated away in 2006, with people inside. How many people died?

    1. Two

    2. Three

    3. Five

45. The fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square was occupied by "living statues" for much of the year. What's there now?

    1. A statue of playwright Alan Bennett

    2. A statue of the late reality TV star Jade Goody

    3. A statue of Battle of Britain hero Sir Keith Park

46. What connected the art world with the winner of a horse race at Lingfield in February?

    1. The winning horse had recently supplied artist Chris Ofili with a sizeable quantity of the manure he uses to paint with

    2. The KLF had bet one million pounds on the winning horse as an artistic statement

    3. Mark Wallinger, who is to design a giant white horse to loom over the Ebbsfleet Valley, is basing it on the horse he part-owns, Red Riviera, which had just won

47. Which artist, who designed the Blue Peter badge, died in January?

    1. Milton Glaser

    2. Tony Hart

    3. Andrew Wyeth

48. Which British artist threatened to leave the country because of taxes?

    1. Tracey Emin

    2. Rachel Whiteread

    3. Gavin Turk

49. Shockingly bad… The paintings are dreadful. Think Francis Bacon meets Adrian Mole." Art critic Rachel Campbell-Johnston on the latest work of which hitherto "untouchable"?

    1. Grayson Perry

    2. Damien Hirst

    3. David Hockney

50. And which artist, happily still with us, the first commissioned to fill the Turbine Hall at Tate Modern, was born on Christmas Day 1911?

    1. Lucian Freud

    2. Antoni Tàpies

    3. Louise Bourgeois

51. After accusations of pandering to paedophilia, a photo by Gary Gross of which American starlet was removed from Tate Modern?

    1. Drew Barrymore

    2. Lindsay Lohan

    3. Brooke Shields

52. Which app (ie application) did the normally careful Apple Corporation withdraw from its iPhone after complaints that it was in the most ludicrously bad taste?

    1. Baby Shaker. The phone had to be shaken vigorously to stop the "baby" from crying

    2. Binge drinker. The app plotted a map based on pubs and bars offering drinks promotions in student areas

    3. Eating sucks. The app calculated a person's weight gain based on consuming certain meals, illustrating the point with pictures of obese women

53. Part of the aim of the Cern Large Hadron Collider, which got going recently after a year's delay (when their call to the Apple technical support team was finally answered), is to discover the Higgs boson, the so-called God particle. At which university is Peter Higgs still an emeritus professor?

    1. Manchester

    2. Edinburgh

    3. Durham

54. "I wonder on what basis anyone can say condoms make Aids worse. The Pope must be either stupid, ignorant or dim. If people take his words seriously, he will be responsible for the deaths of thousands." Who is the angry scientist?

    1. Stephen Jay Gould

    2. Robert Winstone

    3. Richard Dawkins

55. Why is Injaz perhaps the world's most famous camel?

    1. The first ever Bactrian camel to be born with three humps

    2. He was the camel used as the basis for a redesign of the Camel cigarettes brand

    3. First cloned camel

56. On Christmas Day five years ago, the Cassini orbiter released the Huygens probe, which landed successfully 20 days later on Titan, one of the moons of which planet?

    1. Jupiter

    2. Saturn

    3. Neptune

57. Three British backpackers survived the Malaysian jungle after following Ray Mears's survivalist advice to do what?

    1. Drink their own urine

    2. Climb a tree to assess the landscape

    3. Follow water downhill

58. The year began with record snow, ended with record floods. Which author's perceptive novel based on such global changes is now touring as a musical?

    1. Margaret Atwood

    2. Ian McEwan

    3. Ben Elton

59. Which was the latest non-human species to be sent into space, to test muscle wastage?

    1. Worms

    2. Snakes

    3. Frogs

60. By the time of printing, many cartoons will doubtless have featured the Little Mermaid as a symbol of both Copenhagen and rising waters. (Do you see what they did there?) Who was the sculptor?

    1. Bandini Giovanni

    2. Edvard Eriksen

    3. Auguste Rodin

61. Six people were injured after auditions for a reality show turned into a shambolic stampede in the streets of New York, during which three people were arrested. Which show?

    1. America's Next Top Model

    2. American Idol

    3. Survivor

62. Of which nationality was the author who brought out a book, entitled Jealousy, on her struggles to cope with her husband's infidelity, despite having herself earlier published a book offering, in florid detail, her own carnal misadventures?

    1. German

    2. Italian

    3. French

63. Michelle Obama got away with a minor breach of royal etiquette in April when she touched the Queen on the back. Which male world leader tried the same in 1992 and was dubbed the Lizard of Oz? There might be a clue in the epithet.

    1. Paul Keating

    2. Bob Hawke

    3. Kevin Rudd

64. "I wouldn't mind being resuscitated by you." Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian prime minister, to Dr Fabiola Carrieri, under what staggeringly inappropriate circumstances?

    1. Visiting earthquake victims

    2. Attending a funeral

    3. Attending mass

65. Rachida Dati, France's Minister of Justice, returned to work in January how many days after giving birth?

    1. One

    2. Three

    3. Five

66. In what year did the Queen make her first televised Christmas broadcast?

    1. 1957

    2. 1958

    3. 1960

67. The contents of the rather splendid home of which legendary male fashion designer, which went for auction in Paris this year following his death in 2008, included leopard-print stools with red lacquered bronze handles; paintings by Picasso, Leger and Ingres; Casablanca lilies, and a huge mirror about which he once said: "A room without a mirror is dead"?

    1. Cristóbal Balenciaga

    2. Christian Dior

    3. Yves St Laurent

68. Which feminist book has been issued in an important new translation, the original having been allegedly "dumbed down" and made less feminist in order not to scare the American market?

    1. What Do Women Want?

    2. The Female Eunuch

    3. The Second Sex

69. "Some employees may prefer weapons such as chainsaws, baseball bats and explosives that have been shown to be effective against…" This was advice from the University of Florida in a "disaster preparedness plan" on how to deal with a campus-wide attack by what?

    1. Zombies

    2. al-Qaida

    3. Frat boys

70. The wife of which country's prime minister claimed in April to have been taken to Venus in a UFO ?

    1. Great Britain

    2. Japan

    3. Venezuela

71. A steamy new anti-Aids advert in Germany features a lookalike of which historical figure having sex? "We asked ourselves what face we could give to the virus, and it couldn't be a pretty face," said Dirk Silz, creative director for the ad agency.

    1. Adolf Hitler

    2. Josef Stalin

    3. Chairman Mao

72. Why is Charlotte Taylor, an unwilling internet sensation, known to millions now as Poo Girl?

    1. She was filmed allowing her dog to go the toilet in the middle of a mall

    2. She was filmed wedged face-down a portable toilet for 20 minutes at a music festival, having dropped her phone in the mire

    3. She was filmed dressed as a giant stool, demonstrating against the closure of public toilets in her native Seattle

73. Acrobatics, fine; fireworks, fine. What less-than-tasteful other piece of "staging" graced Colonel Gadaffi's 40th birthday celebrations?

    1. A parade of children wearing army uniform and carrying scaled down weapons

    2. The firing of George W Bush effigies from catapults into the sea

    3. Mock hangings

74. How many years younger than him is Peter Stringfellow's new wife, Bella Wright?

    1. 28

    2. 35

    3. 42

75. Japan's Matsue City is this Christmas parading five of which kind of animals, dressed in Santa suits, through its centre?

    1. African penguins

    2. Grizzly bears

    3. Reindeer

76. What did human rights activist Shirin Ebadi have confiscated by the Iranian authorities this autumn in an act exposing great deficiencies in the nation's appreciation of irony?

    1. A copy of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

    2. Her copy of the Qur'an

    3. Her Nobel Peace Prize

77. One of the very weirdest pieces of information which followed Michael Jackson's death – and that's saying something – was the identity of the real father of one of his children. Which former British child actor?

    1. Dexter Fletcher, of Press gang

    2. Mark Lester, of Oliver!

    3. Todd Carty, of Grange Hill

78. "YouTube if you want to. But it's no substitute for knocking on doors or setting up a stall in the town centre."

    1. Hazel Blears

    2. Harriet Harman

    3. Jacqui Smith

79. "She has no waist, no arse. All we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone." Which author, on which other author?

    1. Martin Amis on Jordan

    2. Germaine Greer on Madonna

    3. Christopher Hitchens on Paris Hilton

80. "Delia Smith's food is lovely. But she is the most boring person in the world." Which chef damning Delia with faint praise?

    1. Antonio Carluccio

    2. Anthony Bourdain

    3. Heston Blumenthal

81. "If there was any sex going, you'd go for it, but it didn't really matter which side it was on. There's been something of both in my life, but not enough of either." Which national treasure?

    1. Alan Bennett

    2. Judi Dench

    3. Stephen Fry

82. "They say that television makes you look fat and it certainly did. I looked like a garage." Which singer?

    1. Robbie Williams

    2. Tom Jones

    3. Susan Boyle

83. "More sheepish than a sheep and more twattish than a twat." Which famous twitterer on revoking their decision to quit twitter?

    1. Lily Allen

    2. Russell Brand

    3. Stephen Fry

84. "Not that I look in the mirror and say, 'I love my bum', but I'm completely fond of it. I don't feel the need to cover it up any more. I think it's just age – accepting who I am. Live with it, gang." Which body unconscious woman?

    1. Helen Mirren

    2. Kate Winslet

    3. Lily Allen

85. "How could you have stayed for eight years with a man with such ridiculous calves?"

    1. Sarkozy to Carla, re Mick Jagger

    2. Sarkozy to Carla, re Donald Trump

    3. Sarkozy to Carla, re Eric Clapton

86. "I've been in relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean you're happy."

    1. Johnny Depp

    2. George Clooney

    3. Clive Owen

Solutions

1:B, 2:A, 3:C, 4:B, 5:A, 6:B, 7:B, 8:A, 9:C, 10:A, 11:A, 12:C, 13:A, 14:C, 15:C, 16:A, 17:B, 18:B, 19:C, 20:A, 21:C, 22:B, 23:B, 24:A, 25:C, 26:A, 27:A, 28:B, 29:B, 30:A, 31:B, 32:A, 33:C, 34:C, 35:B, 36:B, 37:C, 38:B, 39:C, 40:A, 41:C, 42:C, 43:C, 44:A, 45:C, 46:C, 47:B, 48:A, 49:B, 50:C, 51:C, 52:A, 53:B, 54:C, 55:C, 56:B, 57:C, 58:A, 59:A, 60:B, 61:A, 62:C, 63:A, 64:A, 65:C, 66:A, 67:C, 68:C, 69:A, 70:B, 71:A, 72:B, 73:C, 74:C, 75:A, 76:C, 77:B, 78:A, 79:A, 80:A, 81:A, 82:C, 83:C, 84:B, 85:A, 86:B

Scores

1. 30 and above.

   Where have you been - and more to the point - what have you been doing? Roll on 2010 ...

2. 60 and above.

   Pretty good - give yourself a pat on the back, but no cigar

3. 90 and above.

   A stellar effort - you should be proud of your detailed knowledge of a long and eventful year