My general rules, not just in publishing but in life, are one: never get too excited about anything Richard Branson says, and two: never get too excited about anything apparently written by a model. I'm not being snotty. I've just lived a long time.
However, news that Kate Moss's impending autobiography is to be published by Virgin Books, is an excitement that clangs like a fire engine. Partly because Moss never gives interviews, so there's so much to hear. Partly because as Branson put it, "she has led a celebrity life to the max". But mainly because of the teeming unanswered questions, exposition on any one of which would easily be worth the £1m she is rumoured to have been paid.
1. Without being vulgar, it would be good to know absolutely every detail on the dating and general molestation of Johnny Depp. We're never gonna get a straight answer out of Vanessa Paradis, are we?
2. I would like to know exactly how Jefferson Hack made his big advance ... like, he's an interesting fellow, but how, as a civilian, do you approach a supermodel, and then persuade her to stay and bear your child? I'm sure if we could unlock his strange charisma, it would be a good basis for a pyramid selling scheme.
3. Again, without being vulgar, can we just have some clarification on the Sadie Frost/Jude Law Danny Goffey/Pearl Lowe/ Rhys Ifans/Sienna Miller threesome - not sordid details, just schoolyard stuff - who liked who the most, if there were any threesomes, who got left out, or whether it was more like a six or sevensome?
4. Just en passant, what amusing, bitchy things did Stella McCartney say about Heather Mills?
5. Did Kate really like Ugg boots, or is there a secret contract in her desk drawer, in which she was paid more than the arms budget of Liberia to pretend?
6. What's the state of Pete Doherty's life? Is it like any junkie's - food on the floor and dead insects in glasses? Or do celebrity junkies have a dejunkifying service they can pay?
7. Did she snog Philip Green in Topshop, just to be friendly?
(I wanted to get up to 10, but I'm out of space, and also, this could go on for ever.)
